


Glowing

by natalie_ana



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon, Drunk James, F/M, Found Family, France - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Paris - Freeform, Summer before 7th year, jily, lake house, lily and james are both a mess, lily works in a bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalie_ana/pseuds/natalie_ana
Summary: this is something I wrote a couple years back and when I found it in the depths of my computer it threw me so here it is
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	Glowing

**Author's Note:**

> this is something I wrote a couple years back and when I found it in the depths of my computer it threw me so here it is

The story of Lily Evans and the story of James Potter were quite different. James Potter was, by all means, superior, in wealth and in blood, if you believed in that sort of thing. Lily Evans was, by all means, inferior, in wealth and in blood, if you believed in that sort of thing. Lucky for them, neither James nor Lily believed in that sort of thing and in a world that was being divided by those very constraints, it was a pretty important thing to agree upon. You see, James Potter and Lily Evans hardly agreed on anything, ever but for this, the biggest battle of their lives, they agreed. The only problem was, neither was aware of the other. At least not like that. They had their own battles to fight.

Lily Evans was seventeen years old, an orphan and, precariously, homeless.

James Potter was seventeen years old, caring for his ailing parents and planned to do nothing extraordinary for the summer ahead.

This is the story of Lily Evans and the story of James Potter and how it became to be the story of James and Lily Potter, the couple who saved the world and it all began in the summer of ’77.

* * *

She would not cry. She refused.

Sitting on her trunk outside of the hotel where her sister had just left with her new husband, Lily Evans refused to cry.

She couldn’t pin point the moment her life had decided to turn to crap. Maybe at the end of fifth year when her supposed best mate decided to call her the worst slur someone like Lily could be called. Or maybe it was when she started school in sixth year and realised that whilst a lot of people were happy to chat to Lily, she didn’t really have _friends_. Or maybe it was six months ago when she was pulled out of Charms by Professor McGonagall who told her, that Mr and Mrs Evans had perished in a house fire that morning. Or maybe it was the realisation that Petunia had no reason to stay an Evans anymore. She had her perfect fiancé, her perfect life where there was no room for a witch or even for her own sister.

Lily closed her eyes, the tears truly threatening to drop. No, she couldn’t pin point the exact moment, all she knew was that she had nowhere to go, nowhere to stay but she had to go somewhere. She couldn’t stay here where the bell boy glanced at the peculiar girl with thick red hair twisted into a particularly uncomfortable style in a pale blue dress sitting on a trunk that had the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry crest stitched into it.

She needed somewhere to go and there was only one place she could think of. She trudged, lugging her trunk, to a quiet street where she stuck her wand out. A bus appeared a moment later.

“To The Leaky Cauldron, please.”

* * *

He would not cry. He refused.

Sitting on the couch in the drawing room, away from the bedroom where he could hear his mother’s distressed cries where the healer tried to calm her, James Potter refused to cry.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t known this was coming. His parents had always been older than the other parents, having almost twenty years over his best mate’s parents (as shitty as they were). He’d always known but he never expected _this_. He never expected that there would be days when his mother would become distressed at the sight of him because she didn’t know who he was. Nor did he expect to hear his father rattle on about his Hogwarts days to James as though James was his best mate rather than his son. And there were things, things a child shouldn’t know about their parents and Fleamont Potter managed to cross that line about four times a day. He never expected that he’d have to hire, not one but two, full-time healers to help care for them (though only one stayed over night). No, these were not the things James had expected and yet here he was in his room, refusing to let the tears fall.

Of course, his mates helped. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. James honestly didn’t know what he’d do without the lot of them. Probably lose his mind like his parents had.

James wished he could leave. Escape to, well, anywhere that wasn’t this house. The African Safari for all he cared. He wanted to leave and never come back. To forget that his parents would keep forgetting until they died. It’s not like they’d know. His father couldn’t remember if it was lunch, breakfast, or dinner most of the time. One time claiming at nine in the evening that the sunrise was beautiful. His mother drifted between asking him who he was to calling him ‘Eugene’, her twin brother whom passed away when James was barely one. It was, in every sense, a damn nightmare. But he couldn’t just leave. Not forever.

But he could leave for the night.

“Jenna! I’m going out for a bit,” James shouted out.

He could practically hear Jenna scowl. “What do I care? I’m not your mother.”

Did he mention that the healers weren’t particularly friendly?

“Where are you going, Jenson?” his father asked as he passed his father’s study.

James breathed in deeply. “It’s James, dad.”

His father narrowed his eyes, and then laughed. “Good one, Jenson. What’d you say? Get me out of here?”

“Not tonight,” James said.

“Ah, come on,” he urged.

“Good night, dad.”

Without waiting for a response, he walked down the stairs where he bumped into, perhaps his only friend in the house. Twinkle, the House Elf.

“Where is you going, Mister James?”

“Out.”

“Mistress Potter isn’t liking you going out this late.”

“Mistress Potter doesn’t even remember who I am Twinkle. Don’t wait up.”

James grabbed his coat out of the cloak room under the stairs and shrugged it on.

“But where is Mister James going?”

“London,” James decided.

* * *

It’s not like she didn’t have money. Her parents had left her with something, just not a lot but it was enough. It would have to be. Her trunk bounced over the threshold as she entered The Leaky Cauldron and the first thing she noticed was that it was mostly occupied by men. Not letting that deter her, she strode up to the bar and plonked down, trunk sitting at her feet.

“I’ll have a firewhiskey and a room, please,” she requested politely to the bartender Tom.

“How long’s the room for?” he asked while he fished a key out of a draw.

“I’ll let you know tomorrow.” She grabbed the key, shoving it into her hair since her dress didn’t have pockets.

“That’s twelve galleons for the night and a galleon and a sickle for the firewhiskey.”

Lily nodded, summoning her purse and setting the correct amount of coins on the counter, the loose change clanging about. She’d have to take a trip to Gringott’s tomorrow. It had been an odd moment when Lily Evans had walked into Gringott’s during the Easter Holidays and requested to open an account with the bank. Of course, unlike pureblood witches and wizards, Lily’s vault was less of a vault and more of a glorified locker in the minimum security section of the bank but when Ragnok, a surly goblin, had handed her the key and declared that glorified locker number seventy-seven was hers, well a sense of pride rocked through her.

Lily bit her lip as Tom placed a firewhiskey in front of her. She’d have to find a more permanent place than The Leaky Cauldron, which meant rent, which meant she’d need a job. She downed the firewhiskey.

“Tom, you wouldn’t happen to have some parchment and a quill?”

He quickly supplied her and she wrote, ‘ _To Do List, June 25, 1977_ ’. Underneath she wrote, ‘ _Gringotts’_ , ’ _Scout for apartments in Diagon Alley’_ , ’ _Scout for job in Diagon Alley’_.

“Another firewhiskey, please,” she said tossing another galleon onto the bar as she wrote.

She downed one more drink, staring at her list before tucking it away and tugging her trunk up the stairs to room number three where she didn’t even bother to properly change. She just slipped out of her dress and crawled into bed, letting her head hit the pillow.

The next day was as busy and tiresome as she predicted once she’d had a shower getting all the knots out of her hair and make-up off her face. She’d started with Gringott’s just to get a feel of what she could actually afford if she couldn’t get a job, not that she wanted to rely on her savings for a place to live. Turned out she didn’t have as much as she’d hoped once she realised how much she’d need for school supplies.

She had tried to find a job first visiting clothing shops and cafés and book shops and a store that sold only telescopes and apothecaries but no one wanted to hire someone just for the summer. She could afford another night or two at The Leaky Cauldron if she could just find a job but by midday she’d given up on finding a job in Diagon Alley and started shopping around for a place to live for the next nine weeks.

She was luckier with a place to stay than she was with a job. She found a tiny place above the shop that sold telescopes. She wasn’t understating when she said tiny.

The kitchen was a three meter long slab with a sink, stove, fridge and four cupboards — there was no oven — and the living room was a narrow thing barely three meters wide itself with a couch pressed to the wall opposite the kitchen — at least it looked clean. Two doors were on either side of the couch, the one on the right led to a small bedroom that featured nothing but a mattress on the floor and a garment rack for clothes. The door on the left featured a bathroom — Lily had seen broom closets larger than this bathroom and that was all Lily really had to say on the matter. She’d found a home, a place to call hers for the next nine weeks and for a relatively cheap price. Who cared if it was a little cramped? It wasn’t like Lily would be inviting all her mates over. You actually needed mates for that.

So it was four in the afternoon and things weren’t exactly looking great but they were better. At least she wasn’t homeless anymore. Just jobless. Bugger.

She stopped in the middle of the stairs and banged her head against the wall lightly. She was just jobless and friendless and lonely and completely, _completely_ screwed this summer.

“Er, are you all right?”

Lily’s head shot up, eyes snapping to a woman with Barbie blonde hair, the most perfect blue eyes Lily had ever seen to match the most perfect jaw and cheek structure Lily had ever seen. This woman could be a model, Barbie herself looked ugly next to this woman. All tall and lean with thick hair and thick eyebrows.

“Er, fine,” Lily mumbled. “Just, er, moving in.”

“Ah, Mr Veg said you’d be moving in. Lily Evans, right?”

Lily smiled and nodded.

“I’m Marlene McKinnon. I live in the other half of your apartment,” she grinned wickedly. “Now if you hear me yell, don’t be alarmed it just means I’ve hit my head on the shower head again.”

Prettier than Barbie herself and an instantly likeable personality, Lily was in awe. “Have you lived here long then?” She pulled her trunk the rest of the way up to the small landing where the two doors sat side by side.

“Oh about three years. When I first moved in, I said it was temporary but I don’t know, hitting my head on the shower head really grew on me.” Lily smiled. “So what do you say we go get dinner tonight? Since we’re going to be neighbours and all.”

Lily paused checking her non-existent calendar of social events and then said, “Sure.”

* * *

He hadn’t really expected anything to come out of his walk in London the previous night, nothing except a bit of relief from the nightmare that his home had recently become. He definitely hadn’t expected to see Lily Evans walk into The Leaky Cauldron by herself, trunk in hand. No, that was an odd shock but that’s all it had been. Perhaps there was a time when he’d have followed her into the bar and tried to start up a conversation but he didn’t have the energy nor the mind to care at the time.

So he continued roaming not giving Lily Evans a second thought … until now.

A week had passed by, he wouldn’t say blissfully because that’d be a lie, but it passed by without any major hiccups. His parents had been … calm. No episodes of panic and anger. Just happy confusedness. “Oh Eugene, you look as young as the day you died,” was his mother’s line of the week. His father earned himself two days of avoidance when he started talking about how Euphemia had met him last night in a broom closet, James shuddered to remember the rest.

But the week had passed. Sirius had come by often enough and they spent most of the time outside in the air. Remus and Peter popped by once or twice as well bearing stories of the outside world and bringing James gifts in sweets and alcohol.

So he’d not given Evans a second thought, not until he was strolling down Diagon Alley to pick up his mum and dad’s medicinal potions that supposedly cleared their minds — if anyone wanted to ask James, he thought it was a scam for his money. The potion cost a fortune and his parents didn’t seem to remember him any better than before they’d taken it but the healers insisted along with the other fifty potions. But the potions weren’t the point. The point was he’d been walking down Diagon Alley when he’d seen Evans again having lunch with a woman James didn’t recognise — she definitely never went to Hogwarts, he’d have remembered _her_.

She was the type of woman who stirred up all sorts of things inside of men. Thick blonde hair, face prettier than an angel and legs for days.

Lily Evans was that kind of woman too with dark red almost auburn hair that fell in wild curls down to her waist and eyes that someone could stare into forever and ever, the deepest green James had ever seen eyes to be, he could stare into them for an eternity if she’d let him. She was an impossible explosion of colour, Lily Evans, especially in the summer. James had only ever seen Evans in winter attire so seeing her in high waisted shorts a white shirt tucked in was an out of body experience where he stood dumbfounded for an unreasonable amount of time across the street, staring at her.

He finally came to his senses and scarpered down the street quickly, not wanting to be seen, the sight of Lily Evans stuck in his head and the question: what were the chances of seeing Lily Evans, a muggle-born, in Diagon Alley twice within the space of a week?

* * *

It had been a week and she still had not found a job and whilst rent was paid weekly, she was starting to get nervous. Sure, she’d be all right for the first week and the week after that but what about the week after that and the next week and the next week?

Sitting at a café in Diagon Alley on a sunny day, Lily informed her troubles to Marlene McKinnon who perked up.

“You need a job?”

“I’m basically broke, Marlene.”

“You should’ve said! I own an underground bar at the end of the street and I’ve been looking for help.”

A bar? Lily had never thought about being a bartender. She didn’t know anything about alcohol. She was the kind of girl who got the same drink every time because she didn’t know what kinds of other drinks there were. “Oh, uh, I don’t know about a bar,” Lily said nervously, not wanting to offend Marlene.

The two had hit it off instantly despite their eight year age gap and Lily didn’t want to ruin that. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

Marlene put her hands up in surrender. “It’s just an offer and it still stands.”

Lily sighed. “It’s just, I barely drink alcohol let alone to serve it and to, like, be expected to know all the drinks and,” Lily shook her head. “I couldn’t possibly.”

“Well, we’d start you out easy,” Marlene considered. “Waitressing at first and then we’ll see about moving you up to the bar. Come on, Lily, please. I pay good and I’ve got a pretty cool crew and I think you’d fit right in.”

Lily chewed on her lip. She really needed the money. “I — oh, all right.”

“If you hate it, no hard feelings. Promise,” Marlene swore and Lily nodded.

Lily paused to look at her. “Thank you, Marlene.”

Marlene waved her off. “Now there’s not really a uniform per se, as long as you wear a black shirt, in saying that showing skin does tend to get us more tips but only if you want to. Denim or leather bottoms generally. Skirt, shorts, pants, I don’t care. Shoes need to be closed — the girls tend to go for gogos or lace ups.”

The rest of lunch was taken over by a list of things Lily needed to know for the upcoming night and Marlene answered any of Lily’s questions until Marlene declared that they should go see the Golden Mermaid so Lily could get a feel of the place.

The Golden Mermaid was advertised with a wooden sign hanging over a wooden door. The stairs to get down to the bar were narrow and a little steep but the bar was huge, easily taking up the space of four maybe even five of the shops above. A ‘U’ shaped bar protruded from the wall adjacent to the stairs and it was a magnificent thing made from mahogany and the wall behind the bar had cabinets with stained glass windows depicting mermaids lounging on rocks and in the shallows of the beach, their hair blowing in the breeze. A stage was set up on the left wall and the right section had stairs that led to a loft. Booths lined the walls with tall tables and stools occupying the areas that weren’t the dance floor which was immediately in front of the stage.

Lily looked around in wonder.

“This is,” she walked in further, appreciating the high ceiling and the shiny bottles of liquor lined up under the fancy cabinets, “Amazing! I never even knew this was here!”

Marlene grinned that wicked grin again. “You should see it when there’s people.”

* * *

James didn’t know what was more absurd. The fact that Sirius was forcing him to go to a bar to celebrate an American holiday or the fact that they were doing it on July 2nd rather than that actual day of the holiday two days later.

“I really don’t want to go,” James huffed.

“You haven’t been out of the house all summer,” Peter pointed out.

“Yes I-“

“Picking up groceries and potions from London doesn’t count,” Remus cut him off.

Sirius tossed him a bottle of firewhiskey. “Drink up. You’re in for a wild night.”

He was outnumbered. Betrayed by his own friends. He considered the bottle before setting it down.

“I really don’t want to go,” he repeated, sitting on his bed.

“It’s cute that he thinks he has a choice,” Remus remarked, throwing some clothes on the bed. “Put those on.”

It was how he ended up in an underground bar sitting in a booth on his own whilst the boys were who knew where. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate them trying to get him out of the house, to cheer him up. It was just that he’d have preferred a quiet night where, if he was going to get drunk, he could do it in peace. Not here where everything was American themed, with fireworks exploding at random and everyone waving around American flags.

It made him feel incredibly … guilty.

His parents were at home with two strangers and a house elf and he was out, supposedly having a good time. It just didn’t feel right. He stood up abruptly and he was just at the stairs to leave when Peter grabbed him around the neck.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

Peter moved in front of him. “We can come with you.”

James shook his head. “You guys stay. I’ll see you later.”

With that James disappeared up the stairs and as soon as he was on the street, apparated home.

* * *

The Golden Mermaid was an upbeat place to work, Lily quickly figured out on the first night there. There was always music playing, the staff were young — none as young as Lily but no-one over thirty either — and it was laid back. Lily surprised even herself by absolutely loving it. It wasn’t the kind of place Lily had ever imagined herself but after that first shift, she couldn’t imagine why she’d want to work elsewhere.

The Golden Mermaid was always busiest on Friday and Saturday nights but there were regulars that came throughout the week after work, young Ministry workers and young journalists from the Daily Prophet, shopkeepers from Diagon Alley, interning healers from St Mungo’s. She’d yet to learn their names but their faces were recognisable now. There were all sorts at the Golden Mermaid and she was pleased when she noticed hardly any Hogwarts students attended this kind of scene.

It was nice to slip away from Hogwarts Lily Evans. Apart from Marlene, none of the other staff knew just how young Lily was and they treated her like she was one of them and it was nice. She didn’t have to be the heartbroken Lily Evans who’d lost everybody around her. She could just be Lily.

It made her heart stop when she saw them. Peter Pettigrew and James Potter by the stairs at the entrance, she actually froze, a tray of drinks on her hand and she just stopped in the middle of the bar. She watched their short exchange. Watched as Potter left. Watched as Pettigrew’s attention went back to some blonde bird he’d been with. Pettigrew wouldn’t stay here on his own. Where there was one, there was usually more. When it came to the Marauders, it was a sacred rule to remember because one Marauder on their own was suspicious.

“Oi, Red, we’ve got more orders!” Jason Roberts called from the bar.

She snapped out of it and went to the table to distribute the drinks before going back to the bar to collect the next set of drinks to be distributed. She didn’t breathe again until Marlene and Jason were kicking out the last stragglers and she was wiping down tables. She’d managed to avoid three fourths of the Marauders, miraculously.

“And tips are,” Jason announced loudly, “Drumroll everybody!” immediately everybody started a drumroll on whatever surface they were near, “Seventeen galleons, six sickles and three knuts each!”

An ecstatic cheer went up and Lily grinned widely. That was half her weekly rent.

She left that night feeling a kind of freedom she hadn’t felt in a while. She wasn’t happy, she still had a long way to go before she was happy, but she didn’t feel lost nor sad. She just was and for now that was enough.

It seemed like fate two nights later when Lily saw James Potter again. Lily didn’t use the term fate lightly but this was bigger than just a coincidence because she didn’t see Potter in her bar again, though he did reek of alcohol but she supposed she did as well, nor did she see him in an hour acceptable to perhaps bump into someone. No, she saw him, just after midnight when she had to do an alcohol run to The Leaky Cauldron, the only other bar in Diagon Alley, because the Golden Mermaid was short on firewhiskey.

He was just there, sitting at the bar, a glass of firewhiskey in his hand and she didn’t know what it was about him but a feeling came over her and it was an odd feeling to get for someone like James Potter. She had never hid her distaste for him and he had never tried to change her mind though that would all change with time. She wanted to approach him, to ask him if he was okay because the one thing she did know about James Potter was that he was not a solitary kind of guy.

She approached the bar leaving two stools between her and Potter and waved Tom down.

“Marlene’s low on firewhiskey. Can I get a crate?”

Tom nodded, summoning a crate from his back room whilst he rung her up. She’d just finished handing over the money when he spoke.

“New look, Evans?”

She glanced down at her outfit. She supposed it was, she’d never really have worn something like this before but then again she’d never had an occasion to wear something like this before. She was wearing a pair of Marlene’s denim shorts with a black button up tied at her waist with the sleeves rolled up and she wore black boots featuring a small heel. Her hair was as curly as ever but the front was pulled into a tight ponytail at the top of her head.

She shrugged. “Where’s the rest of your posse?”

James shrugged as Tom handed over the crate after making sure it had exactly twelve bottles in it.

“Having a party?” James asked.

Lily snorted. You needed friends to have a party. “Are you?” she asked, hauling the crate into her arms.

“There’s something called a levitation spell, Evans.”

“Forgot my wand.”

“You walked here, in the middle of the night, without a wand. Are you stupid?”

Probably. “I can take care of myself, Potter.”

She turned to leave but no sooner had she reached the brick wall to get into Diagon Alley did Potter start tapping the bricks with his wand.

“What are you doing?” she tsked.

“What does it look like?” he retorted, pointing his wand at the crate. It gently pulled out of her hands and hovered beside her instead.

She rolled her eyes but started walking beside him silently.

“What are those for anyways?” James asked.

“We ran out of firewhiskey — the delivery didn’t show today — and I drew the short straw,” Lily shrugged.

“We?”

“I work at the Golden Mermaid.”

James quirked an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“You caught me. I’m secretly an alcoholic.”

They stayed silent until they reached the Golden Mermaid where Lily went back to work and James plonked himself at the bar. It was busy for a Wednesday night so she didn’t notice that he slipped away until her shift was over and he was gone.

* * *

His mother moved a rook as James studied the board, calculating his next move. The woman couldn’t remember her own son but she could remember chess moves. Go figure.

“You know, Eugene, I’m pregnant,” she said, an excited jump in her voice.

“That’s nice,” James replied.

“It is, isn’t it?” she smiled. “Fleamont and I have been trying so hard and at this age…the healer’s said it was impossible but I’m pregnant,” she shrugged.

“That’s nice,” James repeated.

She huffed. “I would’ve thought you’d be more excited at the news that your sister is having a baby.”

“I am.”

She rolled her eyes. “You don’t sound excited.”

There was nothing to be excited about. His mother couldn’t remember he’d already been born. Hooray. “I am,” he repeated.

She pursed her lips but before she could say anything, Jenna came into the room carrying a small tray of potions.

“Come on, Mrs P. Time for bed.”

“Show yourself out Eugene,” she smiled gently and as an after thought, “Oh, and don’t blab the news too far.”

James was dismissed so he left the house and the only place that he could think to go to was the Golden Mermaid but it wasn’t because of Lily Evans, he told himself. Sure, he’d been surprised to see her the other night dressed like _that_ but she was still Evans. Infuriating, basically, answering his questions with questions and walking down Diagon Alley in the middle of the night without a wand. He shook his head, the girl was a nutter. But the only reason why he wanted to go to the Golden Mermaid wasn’t because she might be there but because it was better than The Leaky Cauldron.

He plonked himself down at the bar, on the same stool he’d sat on last time and he didn’t miss the sour look on her face when she spotted him.

“What are you doing here, Potter?”

He shrugged. “I’ll have a firewhiskey.”

She rolled her eyes but summoned a bottle and a glass, and then pouring the drink. He slid over a galleon and a sickle.

“What are you doing here, Potter?”

“If you’re going to be nosy, I’ll leave.”

She made an indignant noise but left him alone. _What are you doing here_? Where else was he supposed to be? Surely not at home with parents who can’t remember him. Surely not with his mates who all gave him sad sort of looks.

Lily kept a steady supply of firewhiskey for him and he couldn’t remember when or why, but at some point he started buying her drinks and then he was asking her questions.

“Why’re you working here anyways?”

“To pay rent.”

“Why’re you paying rent? What about your family?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have one anymore.”

He furrowed his brows. “What about your friends?”

“It’s just me, Potter.”

James noticed the blonde girl she’d had lunch with a week or so back. “What about her?”

Lily shrugged. “I only met her a few weeks ago, she’s my neighbour.”

He paused. It was a stupid idea, it really was, but he’d always been a sucker for stupid ideas and he was sure when he was sober, he’d probably blame it on the alcohol. “I could be your friend for the summer.”

She laughed lightly. “We aren’t friends.”

“But we could be.”

She glanced up from the table she was wiping down and she did something James had never experienced before, something he’d only ever seen her do to other people. She smiled at him.

* * *

She didn’t know that by agreeing to be friends with Potter for the summer she’d basically opened the door for all four Marauders to walk into her life. What was more was that she didn’t expect to like it, or them for that matter.

Remus had always been all right so perhaps that wasn’t the biggest shock but Peter who’d always seemed too quiet to the point of docile? Or Sirius who, along with Potter, had been her ex-best friend’s worst enemy? And let’s not forget Potter, who could be so arrogant and obnoxious when he wanted to be. No she never expected to like them.

But there was something magical about the Marauders. Sure they had magic but together they were the magic. They crept into every crevice of her life, filling up gaps she didn’t even know needed to be filled and they did this in the space of five days. They truly were remarkable because the afternoon after her and Potter had decided to become friends she was woken by a knock at the door and there was Potter waltzing in with a bag of takeaway food. Her first instinct was to kick him out but she didn’t. Sure, she’d never particularly like him because of Snape but she wasn’t friends with Snape anymore and what did she really have left to lose?

“How did you even know where I lived?” she grumbled, closing the door behind him as he set the food on the coffee table and started pulling it out of the bag.

“I asked Tom,” James shrugged. “Hope you like kebabs.”

She wasn’t going to complain about free food, her whole life savings and inheritance fit into a glorified locker in Gringott’s. Who was she to turn down free food?

That night, James turned up with Sirius at the Golden Mermaid and though she wanted to be irritated with the pair of them, she couldn’t help it. She’d laughed more in that one night than she had in the past year.

“Two thousand,” Sirius said nodding towards a truly horrendous looking woman wearing too much make-up.

James considered. “Eh.”

“Four thousand?”

“Sold.”

“Confused,” Lily countered.

“It’s a game, Evans. How much you’d have to be paid to have sex with someone.”

Lily raised an eyebrow.

Sirius gestured to Lily. “A hundred?”

James considered. “Two hundred?”

“She is a nag,” Sirius teased.

“I hate both of you.”

But they played the stupid game until they moved onto shag, marry, snog, the most bizarre options ranging from: “Dumbledore, Slughorn, McGonagall,” to “The Minister of Magic, Voldemort, and Hagrid.”

The next day, she was woken by Sirius and Remus who brought her a cheese burger and a butterbeer. Sirius raided through her kitchen and tutted.

“Your kitchen is dismal.”

So he’d dragged her to a grocery store and the three of them bought things, mostly junk food, to stock up her kitchen and that night James made an appearance on his own at the Golden Mermaid and he’d gotten so sloshed that Lily had to help him into her apartment where he passed out on the couch until they were woken by Sirius, Remus and Peter knocking on the door bearing gifts in the form of food … again. Peter brought a deck of Exploding Snap so they played whilst they ate and then James declared he was sick of the apartment so they went out, stopping by at Fortescue’s for ice creams before they ventured out into Muggle London where they ended up at a park and it was _fun_. They raced each other, chased each other in a game of tag, hid from each other.

It was that afternoon when she’d given up running from them and flopped onto her back in the grass and Sirius plopped down next to her.

“You all right?”

“Yeah.”

“How’d you end up living on your own?” he asked as easily as he might have asked what she ate for breakfast.

“My parents died.”

“What about your sister?”

“After my parents … she didn’t want much to do with me. Not that she wanted a lot to do with me when they were alive,” Lily bit her lip. “She hates magic and she blames me. I suppose that made it easy for her to leave.”

Sirius didn’t ask her what her sister blamed her for. Everyone knew how Lily’s parents had died. She was one of the Muggle-Born Four.

“Fuck her then,” was what Sirius said instead.

“Oi, Moony wants to go!” James shouted at them from across the park.

It took Lily a moment to realise he meant Remus, it wasn’t hard to figure out the nickname though. Lily had figured it out years ago. Lily introduced the five of them to MacDonald’s and Peter swore he’d never eat anything else ever again. The boys had bought everything, devouring three dinner boxes between the four of them. Lily gave them shit but Peter just shrugged and said, “Guy’s gotta eat, Lily.”

None of them turned up at the Golden Mermaid that night but James was sleeping against her door when she got home. She nudged him awake and he woke long enough to collapse onto the couch.

“Don’t your parents ever ask where you are all night?” Lily asked the next day whilst James cooked them eggs.

James shrugged. “They don’t know I’m gone.”

“Your house can’t be that big, Potter.”

James grinned. “Wanna make a bet?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just hurry up and cook. I’m starving. Some guy bought me about five firewhiskeys last night and you know the rule-“

“If a customer buys it, you drink it,” James supplied.

“Exactly,” Lily replied sourly.

“I leave you alone for one night and you get sloshed at work,” James mused.

Lily smiled that night when all four Marauders showed up. She wasn’t smiling the next morning though when she realised that between the four of them, they’d managed to give her a bigger hangover than any other customer would have. She did smile though when she found all four of them draped across her tiny living room. Peter on the couch and the other three on the floor and it was then that she realised she wasn’t alone anymore.

* * *

He watched from the doorway as his parents played some old wizarding card game that had gone out of fashion before James was born. He didn’t know what would have been worse, if they had gotten sick or this. This had it’s bad moments but it had its good moments too. They couldn’t remember much but they were happy at least. They weren’t in pain.

“James, dear, do come and sit with us,” his mother called. “Gracious, Monty, you’d think we had Dragon Pox with the distance he’s keeping.”

A small smile spread across his face. Then there were the rare shining moments like this when they would remember. James went and sat right next to his mother who wrapped an arm around his shoulders and a tensed breath escaped his lips.

Jenna interrupted for a moment to move Fleamont to a different room and then they were left alone.

“Hi, mum,” he said leaning his head on her shoulder.

“How are you?” she whispered quietly and James realised she was properly lucid. She remembered everything which meant she remembered that she was losing her mind.

“I’m fine, mum.”

She pursed her lips. “I haven’t been here for a while, have I?”

James closed his head. “Last time was a few weeks back,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“How’s your father been?”

James shrugged. “He keeps reliving the glory days. Sometimes I’m Jensen, sometimes I’m Halliwell.”

Euphemia smiled softly. “Jensen … that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Halliwell as well. It all feels like a lifetime away.” She paused for a long moment and James was scared she was starting to go again. “How’s your summer been?”

“I’ve been here mostly.”

“I hope you haven’t been shutting your friends out. You need them especially since we can’t be…here.”

James smiled. “I’m all right mum. We head out to Diagon Alley mostly. A girl from school lives and works there, we’ve hung out with her a bit.”

“A girl?” his mother inquired.

James ran a hand through his hair. “She’s just a friend, mum.”

“Mmm-hmm … look James, I … if it ever becomes too much, if we get worse…”

“Mum…”

“Hush, I need to know that you’ll be all right,” his mum insisted. “I don’t want you to spend all your time with the ghosts of your parents so if we get worse, your father and I signed papers a year ago consenting to stay in a permanent ward in St Mungo’s when deemed necessary by you. We never told you before but we don’t want to tie you down, baby. So if we get worse, no hard feelings just remember to visit your loony, old parents, yeah?”

“You’re not going to Mungo’s,” James said stubbornly. “Loony or not, you’re still my mum and you’ll stay right here.”

Euphemia laughed, blinking back tears, she squeezed James closer and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I love you so, so much. No matter how much I lose myself, I will always love you.”

“I love you, too, mum.”

They shifted around and Euphemia wrapped her arms around her son, engulfing him in one of those hugs that only mother’s can give. They stayed like that for a while until Euphemia pulled away and said, “How about a game of chess?”

James laughed. “I’ll hope you know that even with most of your marbles gone, you still manage to beat me every time.”

She laughed lightly as she summoned the board and James moved around to sit opposite her. It was a nice afternoon with his mum, they talked about everything, James talking about the subjects he was going to do for his N.E.W.Ts and what he wanted to do after school. He told her the latest news from the Daily Prophet, who was coming in first on the Quidditch ladder, how a famous singer that his mum liked is pregnant, how the war is getting worse.

It was nice to have his mum back even if it was only for a few hours.

The sun went down and so did she and somehow James felt more empty than he had before.

* * *

Knocking on the door startled her awake and she rolled out of bed, her legs getting tangled in the sheets, tripping into the living room until she stood in front of the door nervously. She bit the inside of her lip and tugged at the tips of her hair because what if it was a murderer? What if it was a Death Eater?

“Evans?” he slurred.

What if it was a drunk James Potter? She sighed in relief and opened the door, the stench of firewhiskey hitting her like a truck.

“God, Potter, you reek,” she complained as he stumbled into her living room. She shut the door and went to the kitchen, grabbing a clean glass out of the cabinet and sticking it under the faucet.

Potter collapsed onto her couch. “Mmm, mum remembered me today.”

“Of course she remembers you,” Lily scoffed. “She’s your mother.”

James appeared not to have heard her because he continued. “But then she forgot again … she always forgets. They both do.”

“What do you-?” she turned the faucet off and turned to him.

He was on his tummy, his glasses askew, sleeping as though he had been asleep for the last couple of hours. Lily shook her head and left the glass of water on the coffee table for him before heading back to her own room.

He said his mother forgot again, that they both did but surely, parents remembered their child? Lily didn’t know much about James’ parents apart from that they were older than other parents even by wizarding standards. She gnawed on her lip. Factoring their age and what James had said, it was entirely possible that his parents could have amnesia. She almost laughed at the idea. Amnesia sounded so … muggle. How could witches and wizards just start forgetting? A bubble of laughter actually escaped her lips this time.

She looked at the world she’d been introduced to at eleven years old and she saw it in such high esteem. Look at this amazing world that held the secret of magic. She sometimes got too caught up in that image because in all actuality, the worlds were more alike than they were different. They both had families and friends, they both had laughter and music, they both had wars. And they both had illness. The only thing different between the two worlds was one had magic and one did not. But magic couldn’t fix everything.

* * *

His eyes blinked at the harsh light as the room came into focus. The first thing he noticed, after he shoved his glasses onto his face, was a glass of water and some biscuits on the coffee table. Blessing Evans he grabbed a biscuit as he stood up, checking her room. Not home.

He wandered in, aimlessly. The room was bare with a mattress on the floor and a rack with clothes strewn across it, her trunk open beside it with things spilling out. A photo sitting on top.

He grabbed the photo. It didn’t move like a magic one would, it was as still as a rock. The photo depicted three people, a woman, a girl and a man. The woman had red hair and a face so familiar James felt he knew her just because he knew Lily. The man had thick blonde hair and piercing blue eyes that could give Dumbledore a run for his galleons. The girl looked like her father with thick blonde hair, curled to perfection, and hard blue eyes. She was pretty but she couldn’t compare to Lily.

“It’s rude to snoop,” a voice cut through the room.

James shrugged and turned. “Never stopped me before. Is this your family? Why aren’t you in the photo?”

Lily shrugged. “They were … they always seemed to do just fine without me though.”

“Were they?” he asked her, an arch in his brow.

She sighed. “My parents would still be…” she shook her head. “Nevermind. I’m on my lunch break.”

James dropped the photo. “Sure, I’ll get lunch with you.”

She smiled sheepishly. “That transparent?”

“It’s endearing,” he assured her.

She rolled her eyes. “Come on, you piss pot. I swear if you sleep another night on that couch, it’s going to become James shaped.”

James laughed. “We should make it official.” He flicked his wand and gold and red stitching appeared on the couch reading, “James Potter’s Couch.”

Lily groaned. “Let’s go before you deface anymore of my furniture.”

James grinned because despite her exasperation, despite her annoyed tone, a tiny little smile was on her lips that told James she wasn’t annoyed with him at all.

They ended up at a little cafe sitting opposite each other.

“So what’s it like staying in the wizarding world for the summer?”

Lily smiled. “This summer is all about new,” she assured him. “New home, new job … new friends.” She sighed.

“That’s the spirit, Evans. You know, this summer is all about new for me too,” he told her smartly. “New couch.”

She snorted. “How about a new tendency to get drunk?”

“I’ve gotten drunk like four times, besides who’s counting?”

“You’ve gotten drunk at least nine times that I know of,” she countered.

Nine times? It didn’t feel like he’d gotten drunk that many times. Perhaps the drunken nights and hungover days blurred into one sometimes. That probably wasn’t very healthy. He made a silent vow not to get hammered as regularly.

“What time do you finish tonight?”

“I’m pulling a double so I get off at close.”

That probably wasn’t very healthy either.

“Merlin, Evans what time did you start?”

“I opened for lunch,” she shrugged. He glared at her. “Eleven,” she supplied. “That reminds me-”

“What time’s your dinner break?” he asked already guessing her question.

She grinned. “You’re the best.”

“What time?”

“Seven.”

The rest of the hour passed and before he knew it he was alone again.

* * *

Seven ticked to seven ten, to seven fifteen, to seven twenty, to seven twenty-five. She sighed, stashing her bag back under the counter and walked up to the kitchen.

“Can I get a chicken burger? I’ll be out back,” she asked the cook who nodded.

She’d been stood up. He probably realised he had better things to do than hang out with her and why wouldn’t he? Lily Evans wasn’t anyone extraordinary, in fact, if she could use one word to describe herself it would be ‘a mess’. She was a bloody, hot mess. She slept most of the day, got borderline drunk in the name of work, had no family, no friends and the only thing in her fridge was mouldy strawberries.

It’s not like he needed her. None of them did, they all had each other. Lily was just their latest summer project, figured they’d get bored of it before summer was even half way gone.

Her burger came and she ate it quickly before going back to work.

“Hey, Red!” Jason called out as she was about to leave. She turned. “Any chance you can cover my lunch shift tomorrow?”

She already had a night shift but what did she have to lose? It’s not like she had things to do. “Sure.”

“Sweet,” he grinned. “Open’s at ten tomorrow yeah?”

Lily nodded, “All good.”

Her mood soured when she saw Sirius sitting at her door.

“‘Lo Evans.”

“What do you want?”

“I see you’re cheery today.”

“Fuck off.”

She pulled her door open and went to close it but he stopped it with his hand before it could close and slipped inside after her. She resisted a sigh. She really didn’t have the time or energy for this. She had to be up in six hours and she planned to spend those six hours in blissful sleep.

“Go away, Black. It’s been a long day.”

“James sent me to apologise for not coming dinner.”

“That’s fantastic.”

Sirius frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, Evans,” Sirius prodded. “You pissed at Prongs? Because he really is sorry and-“

“Black, I could hardly care less about Potter’s excuses. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll be going to bed.”

She slammed her bedroom door behind her figuring he could let himself out, she planned to do nothing but sleep but when her head hit the pillow she was wide awake, her thoughts chasing each other around wondering if she’d just chased away her only friends until sleep finally overcame her when grey light started to peak through the window.

The day was busy, even for a Saturday, the rush hour had hit like a tsunami swamping them in work. Lily ran up and down the place, taking orders, serving meals and cleaning up after customers. When five o’clock hit and she could escape for her break she didn’t even bother with food, she grabbed a butterbeer and sat on a crate in the cooler room, resting her eyes as she took long, slow sips of butterbeer.

If the day was bad, Lily was a zombie when it came to the dinner rush, she messed up a few orders, delivering food to wrong tables and mixing up butterbeers with firewhiskey.

But the work wasn’t what bothered her. Lily grew up knowing that to get what you wanted, you had to work for it. She’d been getting summer jobs since she was fourteen. No, it wasn’t the work that bothered her.

She kept expecting to see _them_ to the point that she was worried when they didn’t show up. One of them always showed up and it was usually James.

She cursed herself for being so dismissive to Sirius the night before. She hadn’t even been angry. She’d just been … not bothered. She’d been on her feet for over twelve hours and she was tired and she hadn’t taken the time to listen.

The next day passed the same way … and the next … and the next … and the next. She was so tired on that fifth day that when she went on break at ten she’d sat down in a booth, promising herself she’d just sit for a few minutes before getting something to eat.

* * *

An owl pecked at his window, waking him up. He shoved his specks onto his face, rolling out of his bed and stumbling to the window, letting in the unfamiliar owl.

James grabbed the letter.

_Potter,_

_It’s Jason Roberts, I work with Lily Evans. She’s fallen asleep at work and she won’t wake up. I would take her home myself but the bar’s busy and they really can’t spare me … or anyone really. Marlene said that you two were friends._

_Do you mind coming to get her home?_

_-Roberts_

James didn’t even change properly, he just pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxers, slipped his feet into sneakers before grabbing his wand and apparating straight out of his bedroom directly into Diagon Alley. He landed right in front of the Golden Mermaid. He strode in, eyes searching the crowded bar for one, Lily Evans and he found her slouched in a booth in the far corner, someone’s cloak draped across her.

He looked towards the bar where McKinnon and Roberts were busy making drinks and taking orders over the loud music. James sighed and leant down next to Lily.

He nudged her, “Evans?”

She didn’t even budge. Bloody hell. He walked up to the bar.

“Potter!” Marlene recognised, “Thanks for coming! She’d had a long couple of days and I told her to take the day off but she wouldn’t listen. Get her home, will you?” She handed James a black handbag. “Her keys are should be in there.”

James nodded, taking the bag and wrapping the strap around his wrist. “How many hours has she been doing?”

“It’s hard to keep track but I know she did two doubles in a row and then she’s been doing nine to ten hour shifts every day.” Marlene shook her head. “She’s been working like a dog.”

James grew angry. “Aren’t you her boss? How could you let her work so much? No wonder she’s falling asleep!”

“And where have you been for the past week?” she retorted. “I could have used some help getting her to agree to take a day off.”

James clenched his jaw. “I’ll get her home.”

“Thank you,” Marlene said.

James went back to Lily, leaving the unknown cloak on the table before bundling her into his arms, bridal style. She immediately curled into his chest, placing her head in the crook of his neck.

James set her down on her mattress and sat down next to her for a moment before pulling off her shoes and pulling the sheet over her. She didn’t stir the entire walk to her apartment, no matter how much he jostled her.

A foot colliding with his shin woke him up.

“Ow!” he cried.

“What are you doing here? How did I get home?” her voice was high, accusing.

James rubbed his eyes. “Morning to you too, Evans.”

“Why are you here?”

“Roberts owled me last night. You fell asleep at work. McKinnon wanted me to take you home.”

Lily got up. “I don’t need you to, to _save_ me like you’re some great big hero.”

James narrowed his eyes. “I hardly saved you. I helped you because McKinnon asked.”

“Right so you can go now,” Lily replied, her back to him.

James frowned. “What’s going on, Lily?”

“Just go.” Her voice was quiet and James ran a hand through his hair.

“Lily…?”

“Please just,” she sucked in a breath and she wiped something off her face, “Go.”

James strode across the room in two swift moves and had her engulfed in a hug in a third. Her hands beat against his chest. “No — don’t — I don’t need you!” she shouted before sobs over took her.

“Lily, calm down,” he held her to his chest, her hands grabbing his shirt as sobs wracked through her. She fell limp against him, clinging to his shirt as he held her up. “Shh, shh, shh … I’ve got you.”

“Where were you?” she cried. “You left me all alone! I’m always on my own!”

“You’re not on your own,” James assured her, still hugging her tight.

She laughed bitterly, pulling away. “I am…you don’t need me. I’m just, just-”

His eyes flashed at her dangerously. “Just what?”

“Just your summer project.”

James stood silent for a moment. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you don’t need me! It means that you can disappear for a week! It means that I’m alone!”

“Disappear? Evans, my dad’s heart gave out and it took the healer’s twenty minutes to revive him! Because you know the amnesia wasn’t bloody enough! No, they’ve just gone and added heart problems to the mix! I’ve been arguing with healers at St Mungo’s for the past week trying to bring him home! Because mum doesn’t understand because you know, what’s better than having one parent with amnesia is having two! So sorry if I ‘disappear’ but don’t act like I didn’t tell you!”

“Tell me? You stood me up and then I never heard from you again!”

“Sirius came-”

“Black didn’t tell me anything!”

“Well shit.”

A silence lulled between them before they both caught a glimpse of the other and it was one of those moments that one could not quite explain but even though it should’ve been filled with more tears or yelling or heart felt declarations of how maybe they were more alike than they realised, really it could’ve been filled with anything but instead … instead his lips twitched, she cracked a smile, he ran a hand through his hair, she bit her lip and then the gates crashed open and they were laughing their guts out. The doubled over, clutching at your stomach, holding onto furniture to stop from falling kind of laughter.

Their laughter rung out throughout the tiny apartment until tears leaked from their eyes and it was minutes later when they both sat on the edge of the mattress, side by side, the laughter having died out, when Lily said, “I’m sorry for yelling and about your, your parents. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“That bad?” James inquired.

“You said something when you were drunk once,” Lily explained. “I sorta figured but drunk you told me so I didn’t want to, I don’t know, pry.”

James glanced at this girl, this girl who felt so alone in the world that she couldn’t seem to understand why anyone would stick around and why should she? Everyone she’d ever loved either died or left. He was an idiot, he should have come to explain what was going on with his parents because she was right about something. By all accounts, James Potter did not need Lily Evans. He had three incredible mates who were like brothers to him but maybe this wasn’t about need. Maybe this was about something else entirely because she didn’t need him either. She just thought she did but in truth she’d sorted her life out just fine before they’d agreed to be friends.

She looked back at him and he reached over, tucking a curl behind her ear and said, “Just because I don’t need you, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here.”

Lily smiled softly before resting her head on his shoulder and they sat like that until James’ stomach rumbled and they both agreed breakfast in muggle London sounded nice.

* * *

When she was younger, she remembered her dad had a punching bag in the garage. She remembered her and Petunia would have competitions to see who could push the heavy thing the most, the wider the swing the more points you earned. She remembered how when she was thirteen her dad taught her how to jab and hook and cross, he’d hold the bag as she punched and punched. She remembered how she could always find her dad in the garage punching the bag that hung from the ceiling whenever he was mad.

It was why, when it all became too much she magicked her own punching bag, an exact replica of her father’s one, and she magicked herself a pair of boxing gloves and she started punching.

It wasn’t even like anything new had happened. She was just feeling sorry for herself. She didn’t want to feel sorry for herself anymore and what better way to turn that self pity into anger, into fire, than to punch something? And what better music to punch to than QUEEN, which was currently blaring out of a turn table.

It was because of the music she didn’t hear the door to her apartment open and close. It was why she didn’t see him until he walked around her and when she did, she just kept on punching.

He turned down the music with a flick of his wand.

“What in the name of Godric are you doing?”

“Boxing,” she supplied, punching into the bag again, punch-punch.

“Uh-huh and what is that?”

She raised an eyebrow and placed two jabs onto the bag, punch-punch. “Punching shit, mainly this bag.”

“Is this a muggle thing?”

Lily considered, punch-punch. “Probably.”

“And why do you feel the need to punch a bag?”

“Because it’s,” punch-punch, “Cleansing.”

“Punching things is cleansing?”

She nodded. “Would’ve punched you a few dozen times at school if I didn’t think I’d get a detention.” Punch-punch.

“Piss off. So this is a common thing amongst muggles then? They just punch a bag when they want to be … cleansed.”

Lily cracked a smile at that. For an arrogant toerag, he was quite naive. “Boxing is a sport. Think of it as muggle duelling. But a lot of people use it as a form of exercise or a release.”

“A sport,” James repeated.

“Yep,” Lily agreed, she punched the bag again.

“So what do you need cleansing from?”

She punched the bag again. “Self-pity,” she said honestly. “I mean my best friend turned out to be an arse.” Punch-punch. “And-and Death Eaters murdered my parents.” Punch-punch. “And my sister truly is a horrendous cow.” Punch-punch. “Who left me knowing I had nowhere to go.” Punch-punch. “And my only friends are four boys who I previously despised.” Punch-punch. “But so what?” Punch-punch. “Some poor bastard out there’s got it worse.” Punch-punch. “I mean, look at you!”

“Thanks,” James snorted.

Punch-punch. “You’ve got two parents with amnesia and do you sit around feeling sorry for yourself?” Punch-punch.

“No.”

“Yes,” he said at the same time as her.

She stopped punching, straightening her stance. “Conjure yourself a pair of gloves, Potter. This is a no self-pity zone from now on.”

“And you think boxing is the answer to that?”

“Clearly. I already feel better.” She didn’t know if pretending a punching bag was Petunia or Severus or Lord Voldemort and punching it was considered a healthy coping mechanism but it certainly made her feel better. “Just pretend the bag is someone you hate and punch away. Left foot forward, punch with your left first, you want the rhythm to be, one-two, one-two, one-two,” she demonstrated as she said.

She stood behind the bag and held it in place so it wouldn’t swing too much and then James started punching. Punch-punch, punch-punch. One-two, one-two. He punched and punched until his face turned red, determined by anger, his punches becoming harder. Punch-punch. Punch-punch. Punch-punch.

“Who’re you imagining the bag as?” she asked after a few minutes.

He spared a glance at her. “The human embodiment of amnesia.”

At least she was pretending the bag was a human being. She considered the possibility that perhaps he was just as messed up as she was.

“How’s your dad?” she asked quietly.

Punch-punch. “Healer’s are releasing him tomorrow so you probably won’t see me for a day or two.”

Lily nodded. “It’s good though … that he’s coming home?”

Punch-punch. “I suppose.” Punch-punch. “This kind of works.”

Lily smiled. “Of course it works.”

“You know what else works?”

“Triple chocolate fudge ice-cream.” Lily laughed as he grinned. “Come on, my shout.”

* * *

They’d been arguing back and forth for ten minutes already whilst trying to add an invisibility booster to Sirius’ motorbike.

“I just don’t see why you couldn’t at least go back the next day to tell her.”

“I did! She wasn’t home! What was I supposed to do? She didn’t want me there.”

James rolled his eyes. “You know where she works.”

“She’s fucked up, Prongs-”

“And we aren’t?” James retorted. “I’m sorry _Black_ , I didn’t realise we were the only ones who were allowed to have baggage.”

Sirius scowled. “Fine she’s had a shitty time but she’s hated us since we like met her and now all of a sudden she wants to be our mate.”

“She needs somebody.”

“And why does it have to be you?” Sirius questioned. He stopped prodding at the engine with his wand to look at James who was actively avoiding Sirius’ eye. He laughed. “Oh bloody hell.”

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t realise you had a time turner.”

“Piss off. She’s had a hard time, I’m having a hard time. It just happened.”

“Oh yes, we’re all having a very hard time, let’s forget six years of dislike and hold hands and sing Kumbayah.”

James tossed the tool he was holding aside. “She doesn’t have anybody. She has no one. Imagine if you were on your own with nowhere to go.”

“I was on my own with nowhere to go! My parents _disowned_ me!”

“Yeah and you had me! Who does she have?” James picked up the tool again to tighten a valve. “Everyone she’s ever loved has left her.”

Sirius started prodding the engine with his wand again. They were silent for a moment. “You know this isn’t going to last … school will start again and things will go back to normal.”

James didn’t think so. Lily was fascinating and fine at school she had her dorm mates but that couldn’t compete with the bond they’d formed this summer. At least James liked to think it couldn’t. She wasn’t a summer project. “Maybe, maybe not … maybe we should add a button that like attaches to an invisibility potion,” James considered. “I mean, you’ll only be invisible until the potion runs out but the potion will be stronger than any charm we could put and-”

“That’s brilliant,” Sirius whispered. “Absolutely brilliant.”

James grinned. “Let’s get started.”

The two boys worked until night fell and after they’d cleaned up, they skidded to a stop in front of the Golden Mermaid. James jumped off, Sirius following as they rushed into the pub looking for Lily.

“Oi! Evans!” Sirius shouted above the music.

She looked up from the bar and smiled with a wave, nothing lurched in James’ stomach, before finishing up with a customer. James and Sirius approached the bar. She was as pretty as ever, her hair tumbling to her waist in thick curls and she wore a leather skirt with a white tank top and she had some black around her eyes and James thought he could look at her forever.

“What are you two doing here?” Lily asked.

“When do you finish?” Sirius asked.

She checked the clock above the bar. “Uh, twenty minutes ago actually.”

“Brilliant,” James grinned. “We wanna show you something.”

Lily bent down to grab her bag and shouted at Marlene that she was off before walking around the bar to the boys.

When Lily’s eyes landed on the motorbike she grinned. “No fucking way!”

“And it’s my turn to drive,” James grinned plucking the keys out of Sirius’ hands.

“What? Nuh-uh! Nope! No! I never agreed to that!” Sirius objected as James climbed onto the bike and stuck the key in. Lily climbed on behind James, grabbing onto his shirt as Sirius scowled.

“I will leave without you,” James warned.

Muttering Sirius jumped onto the back of the bike behind Lily. The three spent the night zooming around in the sky for hours, each taking turns at the front — Lily was by all accounts the craziest driver — before James landed them in the backyard of Greystone Manor.

Lily was speechless for a moment at the sight of the stone mansion that reminded her of Buckingham Palace.

“You didn’t think he was this rich, did you?” Sirius grinned.

Lily blushed. “I - it’s a very nice palace — I mean house!”

“Come on,” he waved her over as the two boys led the way. “I’ll get Twinkle to set up the spare bedroom for you.”

* * *

Tuesday nights at Golden Mermaid were usually filled with a bunch of regulars and today was no different. There were a few from the Auror Department, they always had the funniest stories — Marlene says they come to forget the war. There were the Daily Prophet journalists, they always had the best gossip and one Dorcas Meadowes, a black woman with ferociously bushy hair, would always tell Lily who were spies in the Ministry. She was working on a series of articles to expose them. There were the other ministry workers, the assistants and interns who came to complain about their superiors. There were the healers, they always had the most gruesome (and sometimes funny) stories.

“Where’s James tonight?” Marlene asked as they prepared drinks for a group of aurors.

Lily grabbed a bottle of giggle water out from under the bar and summoned three glasses. “He’s at home, I’d imagine. Why?”

“He likes you,” Marlene smirked.

Lily scoffed. “We’re friends.”

“No, he _likes_ you,” she insisted.

“Please, Marls, that’s completely and utterly-“

“True.”

“Ridiculous!” Lily finished scandalised.

Marlene rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Alice!” Marlene greeted the witch sitting at the bar. Alice Longbottom was a regular and a highly decorated auror for someone of her age and gender.

“Hey guys,” she grinned, sitting at a free stool.

The woman was pretty in a sweet way. She wasn’t that hit you in the face gorgeous that made other girls instantly envious but rather the kind of pretty that took time to notice. She was short with a round face and delicate features and Lily could not imagine this woman in battle.

“Say, if a guy comes to your place of work almost every night just to keep you company … he’s into her right?” Marlene asked before Lily could say anything.

“Oh definitely.”

Lily groaned. “Alice, you aren’t supposed to encourage her.”

“Sorry, hun but facts are facts. Who’s the guy?”

“Just James.”

“James Potter,” Marlene clarified.

Alice raised her brows. “The son of the guy who invented SleekEzy’s?”

“The very one.”

“Nice,” Alice commented. “You should go out with him.”

Lily spluttered. “No I shouldn’t!”

“And why not?” Alice asked.

“Well, firstly he hasn’t asked me out and secondly, we’re just friends.”

Marlene placed the drinks on a tray and called over a waiter to take them to a table. “Did I mention he sleeps at her place sometimes?”

“I — you made that sound way dirtier than it is! He sleeps on my couch sometimes when he’s too drunk to apparate home. They all do.”

Alice and Marlene glanced at each other. “All do?”

“Yeah, Sirius, Remus and Peter sometimes stay over as well.”

“Lily Evans you little slag!” Marlene laughed.

“Hey!” Lily complained.

“And what are you ladies laughing about?” the devil himself asked as he leaned on the counter next to Alice.

Lily flushed red as Alice and Marlene struggled to keep straight faces. “Nothing,” she said quickly. “You want a firewhiskey?”

He nodded and sat next to Alice before turning to Marlene. “McKinnon, what would you say if I were to ask you give Lily a week off in two weeks time?”

“What? Why?” Lily scrunched up her nose.

“I’d say take her. She works too much and forgets to shower.”

Lily pulled a face. “Brilliant. Evans we’re going away for a week.”

“Um, no we aren’t, I have work.”

“You literally just heard Marlene give you a week off.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“You don’t really have a choice,” James sighed. “Sirius wants to go to the lake house.”

“Oh, we had a lake house up in the Scottish Highlands,” Alice sighed. “Where’s yours?”

“France, Lake Annecy,” James answered.

Lily turned to him. “You want me to go to France for a week?”

James shrugged. “Yeah.”

“You’re barking!” she laughed. “Actually barking mad.”

She grabbed a tray and moved around the bar to collect empty drinks. James followed.

“Oh come on!” he urged. “The holiday is basically free! Remus’ dad will set us up a portkey to take us directly to the lake and the house is free, obviously considering it’s mine-”

“You’re parents,” Lily corrected.

“Mine,” James continued. “They signed over all the deeds when they were diagnosed.”

Lily paused at that. “Oh.”

“Anyway, all we have to pay for is food! And the lake is quite pretty! We can go swimming and, and, and,” he struggled to find something else, “Go swimming,” he repeated.

Lily laughed and then sighed. “I really don’t have a choice, do I?”

“Nope.”

“I’ve never been to France before.”

“Well that settles it then. We’ll spend a day in Paris.”

Lily smiled as she collected empty glasses off of tables. Maybe she did like the way he rambled excitedly about all the things there were to do and see in Paris. Maybe she did like it when he grinned at her like that. Maybe she did like the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was excited. Maybe she did like him. Not that she’d ever admit it, no, having a crush on James Potter would be something she’d take to the grave.

* * *

The week leading up to the vacation was quite honestly, a mess. James didn’t know why he thought bringing his three best mates and Lily to a lake house where there’d be absolutely no adult supervision was a good idea. The lot of them were as about as responsible as a five year old with a wand — maybe except Lily, she was about as responsible as a ten year old with a wand.

“Do you think my motorbike will fit through the portkey?” Sirius asked as they lounged in Lily’s living room.

“Just leave the bike,” Remus suggested.

Sirius gasped as though Remus had suggested drowning Nifflers. “I would never!” he clutched his heart. “Moony, that’s like leaving _my_ heart behind!”

Remus and James rolled their eyes.

“I still don’t understand why we can’t bring Callie,” Peter brought up for the millionth time.

Calliope Miller was Peter’s summer fling. She was an American here on holiday for the summer.

“The portkey is for five, Pete,” Remus reminded him. “Oh, speaking of, Dad reckons he can pick it up tomorrow. I figured I’d bring it straight to yours since we’re meeting at yours?”

James nodded. “Just leave it with Twinkle if I’m not home.”

“Tomorrow you say?” Sirius asked thoughtfully. “That’s four days before we leave, I reckon I could charm it to fit the bike.”

“No,” Remus said immediately. “Besides the fact that it is illegal, I’d also like to get to France in one piece.”

Sirius scoffed. “You don’t think I could successfully charm a portkey?”

“There’s a reason why portkeys have to be ministry approved,” Remus reiterated.

Sirius rolled his eyes and looked at James. “I reckon I could get it to work.”

“If Sirius brings his bike, I get to bring Callie.”

“No one is tampering with the portkey!” Remus repeated sternly.

“Well, you’re leaving it at James’, how’re you going to stop us?” Sirius asked.

“This holiday is going to kill me.”

A frustrated cry came from the bedroom. James glanced at Remus, “Not if she kills us all before the holiday starts.”

Lily came out wearing nothing but a long shirt that came up to her mid thigh, a small amount of clothes fisted in her hands.

“Would you believe that I have nothing, _nothing_ , to pack! Everything is winter! Everything!”

“What about the clothes you wear to the bar?”

Sirius’ suggestion was met with a panicked look. She shook her fisted hands and said, “This! This is what I wear to the bar!” She started pacing now. “I borrow a lot of crap from Marlene — oh for the love of Agrippa, I don’t even have a bloody bikini!”

“How is that even possible?” Sirius asked.

She glowered at him. “Oh I’m sorry my house along with all my summer attire was burnt down by your raving lunatic of a cousin!”

“All right, chill,” Sirius said. “We’ll go shopping and get everything you need. Now back to the portkey, I was thinking of-“

“You’re not tampering with the portkey!” Lily and Remus shouted at the same time.

“So if Callie comes, she can room with me, and one of you can room with Lily-”

“Callie’s not coming!” they all shouted at the same time.

That night James stayed behind after his mate’s left, he didn’t know why but things felt easier when he was with Lily sitting in the apartment that was only, really, half an apartment above a shop that sold telescopes. It was like for those moments he could just be. He could be upset about his parents, he could laugh, he could punch, he could do anything. Except be sorry for himself. Lily had firmly established that the apartment was a no-self-pity zone by painting the words onto the wall in a deep Gryffindor red. Of course, once Lily started writing on the wall, so did the others so there was now doodles and phrases in ink surrounding the large painted letters.

Lily sat next to James on the little ledge at her window, legs hanging out and handed him a bowl of ice cream. An empty Diagon Alley spread out before them, stars twinkling in the night sky.

“Thanks, for making me come,” Lily said quietly.

“Wouldn’t be right without you, Lils,” he assured her. “Besides, we are all pureblooded morons with no restraint when it comes to magic.”

Lily grinned. “Ah, so I’m the muggle enforcer.”

“Glad you know your place.”

She nudged him gently before sighing. “I hope I didn’t offend Sirius before.”

“About what?”

“About what I said about his cousin.”

James shrugged. “It’s true and Sirius know that. It’s why he left.” Silence fell for a moment. “How come your sister left you?”

Lily sucked in a breath. “She blames me for my parents dying. If I weren’t a witch, they’d still be alive and she’s right.”

“You don’t know that.”

“The only reason why they died was because of me.”

“Death Eaters, Lily. That’s who to blame.”

Lily nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh, I do. I know it’s their fault, just like I know my parents were only targets because of me.” She shrugged. “It’s a lot of peoples fault, really … the Ministry’s for not protecting them as well as they could, Dumbledore’s for not opposing Voldemort, the universe’s for making me a witch in a family of muggles, society’s for believing blood matters. So I know it’s the Death Eaters fault, just like I know it’s a little mine too.”

“I get what you mean,” James said. “I feel like my parents forgetting is my fault. I didn’t catch it early enough. I shrugged off Twinkle’s concern that mum would forget her way back to the house from the greenhouse. I shrugged it off when my dad called me Jensen offhand. I shrugged it off until it was too late and my parents were gone.”

Lily grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but it is a little. I should’ve noticed sooner.”

“I shouldn’t have been a witch.”

James let himself imagine what a world without Lily Evans would be like for a moment. The smartest girl in their year, top of every class and pretty to boot. James imagined a Hogwarts without Lily Evans. Imagined an empty seat in the third row next to the window where she always preferred to sit. Imagined not seeing her blazing hair in the Quidditch stands. Imagined not hearing her soothing voice as she helped someone with their homework in the common room or library. James didn’t think he’d like Hogwarts without Lily Evans in it so he squeezed her hand back and said, “Things are the way they’re meant to be, I suppose.”

“I suppose they are,” she agreed.

* * *

Marlene sat on Lily’s couch, teasing her over the letters James had etched into it, in her pyjamas as Lily shoved last minute things into the duffel bag she’d packed for the week.

“You’re supposed to be making breakfast,” Lily grumbled, finally sitting next to Marlene.

Marlene waved her wand and the stove flickered on, the eggs broke themselves into the pan, the shells disposing themselves into the bin.

“There,” she said satisfactorily as Lily watched amazed.

“You have to teach me how to cook like that.”

Marlene grinned. “Sure, hun. Now, as your older, more wiser friend … be safe, don’t do anything stupid and for the love of Merlin don’t forget the protection spell.”

“The protection spell?” Lily puzzled and then realisation dawned. “Marlene!” she groaned horrified. “I told you we are just friends!”

“I don’t know what you get out of denying it but I bet you a hundred galleons that you and James Potter get married in the next five years.”

“Be prepared to pay up, McKinnon.”

“So when you’re transferring the money from your account at Gringott’s, it’s vault number a thousand and twenty-seven.” McKinnon waved her wand again and the eggs piled themselves onto a plate before floating over with two forks.

Lily rolled her eyes, “You’ll be paying up, McKinnon and when you do, it’s glorified locker number seventy-seven.”

“Glorified locker?”

“It’s justified,” Lily assured her. 

They ate, talking about nothing in particular until it hit eight thirty when Marlene sighed. “You better go, hun. Don’t forget to owl me and don’t forget, protection spell!”

Lily rolled her eyes and pulled Marlene into a hug. “Don’t get too used to the quiet.”

“Have a safe trip and have a great time,” Marlene squeezed her tight. “I want to hear all about it!”

Lily smiled. “I’ll see you in a week.”

Marlene smiled and handed Lily her duffle and hand bag. “Get out of here, I’ll lock up behind me.”

Lily grabbed her wand off the coffee table and with a twist she was gone and in front of the Potter Palace.

The lake house was spectacular, sat on the edge of a muggle town and right on the edge of the lake, Lily didn’t think she’d ever seen anything more perfect. Lily had grown up in Cokeworth, a grimy muggle town filled with factories and little houses that always seemed just a little grey and now, she was in a place that sparkled. The water sparkled, the houses sparkled, even the grass sparkled and it was all a little bit like heaven.

The house was a two story, stone building with vines climbing up and around the french windows. A heavy wooden door was set in the centre with a cobbled path leading to it from the street and pretty flower beds lined the path. 

“What do you think?” James grinned.

Lily smiled. “This is amazing!”

“I shot gun the master!”

“Oi!” James shouted. “Not if I get there first!”

James ran off with Sirius, trying to shove him away from the front door when Remus called out.

“Lily will be taking the master as it’s the only room with its own bathroom!”

The two boys eyed each other. “I shot gun James’ room!”

“But that’s _my_ room!” James protested and they started squabbling at the door again until Lily intervened when Sirius attempted to pull out a wand.

“Okay that’s enough!” she shouted. “Now, I do not want to spend my holiday on the front yard. Now,” she pulled out a muggle coin from her purse. “Heads or tails?” she asked them.

“Er?”

She rolled her eyes. “The coin, it has a tails side,” she showed them, “And a heads side,” she turned the coin over. “I’ll toss the coin into the air and whatever it lands on, wins. So, heads or tails?”

“Heads!” James shouted.

“No I want heads!” Sirius countered.

“God give me strength,” Lily muttered. “All right enough. Remus?”

Remus stepped in. “James is heads. Sirius is tails.”

Lily nodded once before tossing the coin up in the air. She caught it with ease and put it flat onto her arm to reveal-

“Ha! Heads! I get my room!” James said gleefully as he finally had the sense to shove the key into the door and unlock it. They all tumbled into the house and Lily’s eyes flickered around trying to take everything in.

The lake house had a very beachy and open feel to it with the front door opening into a little foyer that had a set of wooden stairs leading to the second level and then the living room just beyond the arch way where light flooded through large glass windows that looked onto the glistening blue lake. Lily wandered into the living room, dumping her bag by the white couch. A huge kitchen was over to the left, large windows over the sink.

She glanced around, noticing that there was no TV in the living room but there was a bookshelf stacked with a bunch of games and books, sitting next to a fireplace that had a bunch of photo frames on the mantle. She wanted to go have a look but Sirius interrupted her.

“Last in the pool has to cook lunch!”

The five of them glanced at each other for a solid second before they were all scrambling to get upstairs and into their swimwear. James, Lily and Sirius being the most competitive of the bunch, pulled at each other’s arms trying to push forward until they all fell into the pool at the exact same time where Peter and Remus were both already lounging on the side.

“Does this mean all three of them have to cook lunch?” Peter wondered.

“You know, Pete, I think it does.”

“Fuck you,” Sirius grumbled.

* * *

James watched Lily, maybe he’d always watched her, but this time was different because she seemed truly, properly happy. Her eyes had taken on a new shine, the green seeming bright and light as though the sun was shining through the forest leaves and even when she wasn’t smiling, the corners of her lips were turned up slightly. He realised, that she was in her element and it surprised him to find out he was a part of it.

They were walking through the nearby town when Lily gasped.

“What?” James asked, stopping next to her. She was staring at the little boats with handles in the water. They’d seen people fly across the lake with those things.

“We have to try!” she insisted. “The jet skis! They’re the latest rave! Come on!”

“Uh, I don’t know, Evans,” Sirius said.

She rolled her eyes, as she grabbed James’ hand pulling him down to the shore where the tiny boats were lined up.

“Trust me! You’ll love it!” she assured them and then turned to the muggle wearing board shorts and a life vest. “We’ll have five for an hour.”

The four boys stood unsure, as the muggle took them through all the safety precautions and, of course, how to actually drive the thing and Lily was bouncing on her feet as she stripped out of her clothes so she was only in her bikini and pulled on a life vest.

“Oh will you four stop being such babies!” she rolled her eyes. “It’s literally like a motorbike but on water.”

James and Sirius looked at each other and grinned, also stripping down to their swimwear.

“There we go,” Lily grinned jumping onto her jet ski.

The muggle man pushed her out and Lily’s jet ski came to life, rumbling loudly and the next moment she was driving away at a moderate pace before she looked back and shouted, “Try to catch up, yeah?” and gunned it out towards the middle of the lake.

Sirius and James hopped onto their jet ski next and so did Remus and Peter at a much slower pace and the four of them trailed behind after Lily who was zooming across the lake.

It was odd driving a jet ski, like the wind proved resistant to a broom, the current proved resistant to steering but eventually James got the hang of it, able to keep the thing going in a straight line and then he sent a wicked grin to Sirius before gunning it out to where Lily was. He heard her shout in happiness as they rode side by side, the water spraying them as they raced.

For an hour, the five of them sped around on the lake, spraying each other and racing each other, doing loops around Peter who still hadn’t gotten the hang of it.

They raved on and on as they walked back to the house vowing to do it again before they left and her smile never left her face.

James fell into step next to her. “Having fun?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I don’t want to go back.”

“McKinnon would kill me if I convinced you to stay out here the rest of the summer.”

“No, not there, I meant Hogwarts,” she sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Hogwarts but it’s the last year. The last year to pull my life together and decide what I want to do and I don’t think I’m ready.”

“You’ll always have the bar and McKinnon and,” he stopped, not wanting to finish his sentence.

“And what?” she asked.

“And us,” he said but that wasn’t what he was going to say at all.

“Even at school when I nag at you lot to do your homework and behave.”

James winked. “Even then.” And there was that smile again. The smile that had James in knots the entire summer. The smile that had made him vow that Lily Evans would never know what alone was ever again, even if it meant that all they’d ever be were friends and it was all worth it to see that smile. “What do you say we head into Paris tomorrow?” James asked.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll have to leave early so we can get a full day.”

“That’s fine,” James shrugged before turning to the boys. “Paris tomorrow, you lot in?”

“Paris?” Sirius scrunched up his nose. “No thanks I’ve enough traumatising childhood memories there.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to,” Peter started but Sirius nudged him with a glare. “Uh, nah I think we’ll stay here. The last time I went to Paris it was a complete … bore.”

James knew what they were doing and he was a little grateful for it. Just because they could only ever be friends didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate time alone with Lily, of course, she’d probably curse his balls off if he ever considered asking her out on a date, especially after that one time in fifth year. That one disastrous time in fifth year that cost Lily her best friend, even if said best friend was a daft prick.

“You going to trust the three of them in your house for an entire day?” Lily raised an eyebrow and he winced.

“How much damage could they really do?”

That was obviously the wrong question to ask.

* * *

She knew what they were doing. They were so blatantly obvious about it but she couldn’t figure out why, not that she minded. James was incredibly fit after all and there were worse people to spend the day with than your secret crush. But the why, that did bother her, because she’d been sure, so sure, not to be obvious about it.

She didn’t need that kind of humiliation besides she wouldn’t know how to go on if she were to lose, not only James, but all of them now. So the why bothered her quite a bit but not as much as she was excited to spend the day with James.

The day that changed everything began at eight a.m. They both woke and convened in the kitchen, bleary eyed and started preparing for the day, packing two bottles of water, snacks and sunscreen into Lily’s little handbag that had undergone an undetectable extension charm.They both disappeared back in their rooms to change and Lily slipped on the outfit she’d laid out the night before.

It was one of her new ones, a pretty black and white polka dot dress, it was a flowy material with capped sleeves and a v-cut neckline. She slipped on wedged sandals and fixed a white, wide brimmed hat onto her hair which she left down, her hair falling in their usual wild curls.

“Ready?” James called, knocking on her door.

“Yeah,” she shouted back, “You can come in!”

He did and he stopped for a moment, his eyes wandering over her. He licked his lips. “You’re pretty.”

Lily smiled. “Thank you.”

He didn’t look half bad himself in denim jeans and a white t-shirt.

“You’ll have to side-along wth me. There’s apparation points in Paris — you can’t just pop-up anywhere.”

Lily nodded, pulling her bag onto her shoulder. “All right, let’s go then.” She slid her hand into his and for just a moment, hazel met green eyes and her heart beat so hard she could feel it and then he turned and they were in Paris, the moment lost.

They ate breakfast at a table on the street outside of a cafe looking onto the Eiffel Tower and Lily giggled when he told her that he and Sirius had a wager on whether accidental magic could save someone from a fall off the Eiffel Tower.

“We have to take photos!” Lily insisted pulling James into a camera store and coming out with a polaroid, James quickly took charge of the camera and having insisted on buying enough film for two hundred pictures snapped shots carelessly, capturing Lily unprepared in most of them.

When they were at the top of the Eiffel Tower they asked a woman to take a photo of them together.

“We gotta make this dramatic,” James insisted and Lily laughed before pulling her hat off and sticking her arm up into the air as James pulled her in at the waist and lifting her knee up across him so she was dipped back. Snap.

They ventured back down to the earth and Lily kept raving about how high up they’d been.

“That’s nothing,” James scoffed. “I’ve flown my broom higher than that.”

“Maybe you’ll have to show me sometime.” Snap.

They went to the Lourve next where Lily showed him the most famous muggle painting in history. The Mona Lisa.

“It’s a bit over rated,” James commented. “It’s tiny and she has no eyebrows.”

Lily sighed exasperated. Snap. “Oh would you quit taking photos of me and the Mona Lisa is better than any wizard portrait I’ve seen.” A total lie but maybe she liked the way he looked so scandalised.

“You take that back! The Fat Lady looks ten times better than that hag! And she sings!”

“The Fat Lady? Pur-lease! She looks like a baguette in a dress.”

The bickered as they walked through the rest of the museum until James declared that they’d have to go to a wizard museum one day.

“We have museums?” she asked shocked. Why had nobody told her?

“You’ve a lot to learn, Evans.”

Apparently she did. Snap. “Potter!” she growled. Snap. “I wouldn’t have insisted on the camera if you were going to be such a child-” Snap. “About it. Urgh!”

James just cackled as he observed the pictures he’d taken of her before pocketing them.

They visited the Arc De Triomphe whilst they looked for a place to eat, James snapping another ten photos along the way much to Lily’s annoyance until she wrestled the camera out of his hands and the tables turned, except James loved the camera. He was always smiling or laughing or striking amusing faces for Lily to capture.

After lunch they wondered through Paris until they stumbled into wizarding Paris. Unlike wizarding London, wizarding Paris was accessed through a library that was not noticeable to muggles. James said the library, _La Grande Bibliotheque d’Adelia_ , was the first and largest wizarding library in the world, Lily let her fingers trail over some of the oldest looking books she’d ever seen.

The library was incredulous and so clearly magic. The shelves were rickety and slanted at unnatural angles with books stacked on the the tops of the bookshelves at impossible heights and Lily felt that magic could have been made here in this impossibly large library with stone floors and a glass dome in the ceiling. Fireplaces big enough to step in were scattered about, surrounded by comfy looking navy couches with large, miss matched persian rugs draping across the floors, stacks of books next to the couches, fireplaces and on the mantels. Wherever a book could fit, there was a book.

Large windows at the back of the library faced onto wizarding Paris called, Adelia Square and Lily was in awe. Instead of a long twisting street like Diagon Alley, Adelia Square was a square as wide as the library and on each of the three sides, a cobbled street led off it but inside the square was a grassed area with pretty gardens and a fountain right in the middle. Shops surrounded the square, mostly cafes and restaurants but Lily spotted a bakery and a clothing store. Other spaces were houses, with flowers on the window seals and iron balustrading on the tiny window balconies, wedged in between shops.

“Come on!” James grinned, tugging her hand and leading her out the doors three times as tall as Lily herself. Snap.

They walked out onto the grassed area and Lily turned, camera in hand, taking it all in. “This is amazing!” she grinned.

“Nicer than Diagon Alley that’s for sure,” James commented and Lily nodded.

“It’s just so,” Lily looked around and sighed happily, “French.”

James laughed at her and snap. He poked his tongue out before pulling her closer to him, his arm across her shoulders lazily as he steered her to the bakery, _Louis’ Breads_. They went in and ended up with an assortment of savoury treats in a brown paper bag to take home. They sticked to the square, eating macarouns at _Baie de Bonbons_ , and sitting at the water fountain as they licked at ice creams.

“Mum and dad first brought me here when I was about three,” James told her. “Apparently I jumped into the fountain.”

Lily grinned. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“You can see the past?” he suggested and she rolled her eyes, looking at him with a lazy expression as if to say, ‘really?’. He looked at her for a moment, tucked a curl behind her ear before standing up. “We should probably start heading back.”

“We probably should,” she agreed ignoring her jumping stomach, “See what damage the other three have managed to cause.”

He held his hands out to help her up and she grabbed them, letting him pull her up off the bench they’d been sitting on, and she launched into him, her chest against his, their faces a mere inch apart. His hand rested on her waist.

“Oh,” Lily breathed quietly before his lips closed on hers.

The moment wasn’t a long one. No sooner had their lips touched, he pulled away and so did she.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” James managed to say. _Oh._

“It’s okay,” she replied, trying to stay as casual as he was. “Let’s just forget it, yeah?”

He nodded meekly and held out his hand again so they could go home.

* * *

He was an idiot. He kissed her. He was an idiot who kissed girls who weren’t interested. No wonder she wanted to forget it. He didn’t even know what he was thinking. She was just there and he just went for it. An idiot, a complete an utter idiot he was.

But when they landed in the lake house, kissing Lily was the least of his problems. The boys were all sitting, quietly, in the living room and Sirius jumped up as soon as they appeared.

“You’re back,” he said relieved.

James winced, “What’d you lot do?”

“No, we didn’t do anything,” Remus said, his face ashen.

“It’s about your dad,” Sirius said.

“He’s okay,” Peter added before James’ mind got too creative.

“What happened?”

“Jenna sent an owl … your dad was lucid this morning.”

“I went to see him,” Sirius added. “He remembered everything.”

James’ heart stopped. His dad remembered and he wasn’t there. Of fucking course. The one time his father decided to become lucid was the day James was in Paris and unreachable. “He was,” the words died on his throat, “How was he?”

“He was good, said he was happy you were having a bit of fun this summer … he wrote you a letter.”

Sirius gestured to the folded over parchment on the coffee table. Without another word, he grabbed the letter and went up to his bedroom.

_My dearest James,_

_I’m sorry that my timing is so terrible and I am sorry that your mother and I have both fallen ill to the same sickness. I wish things could have been different but if your mother were here now she’d say the same thing. It’s time, James. It’s time to check us in at St Mungo’s. Jenna told me about my heart problems and they say your mother’s been getting sick a lot too. It’s time for you to be a normal seventeen year old. You’ll go to Hogwarts in the coming fall and you’ll be with your friends and when you leave Hogwarts, don’t come back to this big, old house. Go with Sirius, go and live, James. Nothing would make me prouder for you to just live._

_I know I’ve been telling you since you were fourteen that you needed to become an auror because we need aurors in times like this and if that’s what you want to do, great go and do it but if it isn’t, don’t. Find something that will make you happy._

_Love, your father, Fleamont Potter._

That was it. His father told him to check him into a nut house and said do what you want to do. He was disappointed, he’d expected more and maybe that was too much to ask of his ailing father but he’d expected more. They hadn’t had a proper conversation since the Easter holidays and that was it? That’s all James got. Check us into the nut house and you’re on your own now, come visit.

The feeling of abandonment washed over him, drowning him until tears choked his eyes. They kept leaving him and perhaps it was irrational and stupid but this felt like it all over again. Like they were sick of him and wanted to be rid of him.

A knock sounded at the door but James ignored it.

“Are you all right, mate?” Sirius asked through the door.

“Go away,” James gruffed.

“Prongs…”

James didn’t say anything. Sirius would leave him alone to stew for a while before bringing the firewhiskey. James collapsed onto his bed, rolled onto his back and just stared at the ceiling.

* * *

Lily was stunned to find the boys incredibly calm. Shouldn’t they be comforting James? Shouldn’t they be doing something instead of sitting around the living room whilst James was upstairs and in pain?

“So you’re just going to leave him?” Lily asked shocked. James was clearly upset.

“We’ll get him drunk later,” Sirius waved off. “He likes to stew first. Now, how was your date?”

Lily spluttered. “My what?”

“Date,” Remus repeated.

“It wasn’t a date!” Lily objected. “You lot didn’t want to come.”

“I did,” Peter said miserably, “But _they_ insisted that we nod you two in the right direction.”

“And what direction would that be?”

“The direction towards love, I believe,” Remus clarified.

“And marriage,” Sirius added.

“And little red headed kids,” Peter continued.

“Black haired,” Sirius said exasperatedly, “We’ve discussed this, Pete.”

“Generally happily ever after.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at them. “And what makes you think I want happily ever after with Potter?”

“Ooh, Potter now,” Sirius’ eyes twinkled, “She’s getting defensive.”

“Good sign,” Peter noted.

“She likes him,” Remus agreed.

“I do not!”

“Uh-huh,” Sirius hummed doubtfully.

“So nothing happened then?” Remus asked.

Lily blushed only slightly at the thought of the kiss but then shook her head when she remembered how James had pulled away. “Of course nothing happened! Like James Potter would be interested in me. I’m a fucking mess.”

“Oh really? I thought all girls punched things for fun.”

“And I thought all boys turned into wolves instead of menstruating,” Lily shot back.

“Ouch,” Peter commented, “That’s gotta burn.”

“We are getting off track here,” Sirius clapped his hands. “Evans, have you seen Prongs? He is the epitome of a mess. I don’t think he cares about your life being royally fucked considering he’s been crushing after you since fifth year. Besides having a fucked life is basically part of the Marauder code — except Peter.”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s a good thing, Peter,” Remus reminded him.

“Off track again!” Sirius groaned. “Bottom line, Evans, Prongs has been pining for you for almost two years but he won’t admit it and it’s really quite pathetic.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Now I know you’re lying.”

“Why?”

“Because if he really liked me, why did he never try to ask me out again?”

“Because the bloke can take no for an answer,” Remus supplied.

“He’s a decent human being,” Peter added.

“He doesn’t fancy being shouted at in front of the entire school,” Sirius finished.

Lily eyed them suspiciously. “You lot are mad. Barking mad!”

“Only Sirius is barking,” Peter commented and Remus high-fived him slyly.

Lily shook her head. “And what makes you think I like him?”

“You spend most of your time with him,” Sirius said.

“You owl him when you can’t walk straight,” Remus continued.

“You let him eat the last cookie in the packet,” Peter finished.

“Okay now you’re delusional! We’re friends!”

“No, you and I are friends,” Sirius countered, “You and James are in denial.”

She rolled her eyes, “When you lot have got these crazy delusions out of your head, come find me, yeah?”

She stormed outside, slamming the door behind her. They were crazy. James didn’t like her. He couldn’t. And besides they were both messes. They’d get together and be huge fucking messes together. Not that she wanted to get with James. Sure, she fancied him but it was the kind of fancy that you keep to yourself until you get your sanity back because fancying James was never a part of the plan. No, no, no. Fancying James Potter had crept up on her in a haze of drunken nights and depressing, hungover days and once she had her life sorted, her little infatuation with James would end and they would be friends.

She sat on the end of the little jetty at the back, sticking her legs in the water. She couldn’t imagine what James was going through and she felt a little guilty. She was the one who had wanted to go to Paris and if they hadn’t gone, James could’ve gone back to England to see his dad but how was she, or he, to know?

Legs slipped into the water next to her and she glanced at Sirius before focusing her gaze across the lake again.

“You like him. He likes you. What’s the problem?” Sirius questioned.

“I don’t but even if I did,” she shook her head. “It would be too complicated.”

“Why?”

“Why do you want us together so bad?” Lily inquired, her voice hard.

Sirius sighed. “I told James he was crazy when he first started hanging out with you. At school you were always so distant, and I get why … we were assholes.”

“What’s changed?”

“He started drinking less.”

“Seriously?” Lily turned to face him. “Your basis on our apparent ‘love’ is that he started drinking less.”

“He’s happier with you and I think you’re happier with him too. Don’t think we haven’t noticed your slightly disappointed looks when we show up at the bar without James.”

Lily licked her lips. “I can’t handle complicated right now … and I don’t think James can either.” She shook her head. “The timing isn’t right.”

“Hmm, that’s what he said. Not that he’d care. He’d jump into a relationship with you quicker than you could say jump.”

Lily shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

“Let me make this real simple for you. You say ‘jump’, he’ll say ‘how high’.”

_Oh_.

* * *

He wasn’t going to do this. He wasn’t going to lay here and feel sorry for himself. No, he wanted a holiday, he deserved it even. So his parents were sick, other people’s parents were dead and that wasn’t discounting how hard it was to have parents who couldn’t remember but it did make him feel better because _he wasn’t the only one_. And his parents had taught him that growing up. They’d always said that everybody gets sick and everybody dies — maybe not as tactlessly as that but James got the gist of it, they were going to get sick and die one day. And they were sick and there was nothing James could do about it. No amount of money could fix it so James just had to go on. So he wasn’t going to do this anymore.

Remus nudged Sirius when he walked into the living room, probably much sooner than they had predicted.

“So are we still doing the barbecue tonight?” James asked sitting next to Peter.

He wondered where Lily was but he didn’t need his friends harassing him so he kept it to himself.

“Ye - yeah,” Remus said. “You all right?”

James shrugged. “Life sucks. What else is new?”

“Are you sure? Because I was totally prepared to raid the cellar for the oldest firewhiskey.”

James grinned, “I mean I wouldn’t be opposed, Pads, but I’m fine.”

“All right then,” Sirius clapped. “Let’s get the barbecue started.”

James offered to start it up and stepped out first whilst the others got the meats and other things from the kitchen. Lily sat at the end of the jetty, her legs in the water.

“All right, Evans?” he called.

She looked back and smiled. “I thought you were upstairs!” she pulled her legs out of the water and started walking up.

James shrugged, “I decided that this is a no-self-pity zone.”

“Smart,” she said before saying, “But it is okay if you’re a little upset.”

James nodded. “I know.”

“All right then,” she said.

The last three days passed by in a blur, spending their days in the sun, lounging in the pool or jumping off the jetty. They got perfectly tipsy in the evenings after dinner playing anything from truth-or-dare to Never-Have-I-Ever to poker or black jack whilst music played out of a radio.

They all crashed into the Potter’s yard in the afternoon after taking the portkey back to England and James invited them all in but only Lily took up the offer, saying she could use a drink and Lily Evans was in his house, leaning against his kitchen counter drinking lemonade when his mother wondered in.

“Oh, Molly dear, how you’ve grown up!” she gushed.

“Mum-“

“Oh hush Eugene, you know I used to babysit you and your brother, Molly. How are Gideon and Fabian?”

Lily surprised James by smiling kindly and saying, “They’re doing great.”

“Oh, you must come and sit. Twinkle can bring us tea! The sun is just lovely in the front room.”

“You don’t have to,” James said quickly.

“That sounds lovely,” Lily replied to Euphemia who beamed. She linked her arms in Lily’s and led her away leaving James to trail behind.

For an hour, Euphemia told ‘Molly’ stories from the past and had Lily in tears and James watched how good Lily seemed to be with his mother and couldn’t help but want to kiss her again.

Eventually, Lily said she should be going so they walked out slowly, James carrying her bag.

“My mum loves you.”

Lily laughed lightly. “She didn’t even know who I was.”

“You don’t have to know someone’s name to know what kind of person they are.”

Lily was silent for a moment. “Who is Molly anyways?”

“Molly Prewett. She’s a distant relative. She married a Weasley and her brothers are high up in the auror department. Plans tomorrow?”

Lily scrunched her face. “Work.”

“Fun.”

“It will be if you happen to pop by.”

James grinned. “I’ll see if I can make it.”

Lily leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment before pulling back. “Bye, James.”

“Bye, Lily.”

* * *

“So, how was the holiday? I want to hear everything!” Marlene gushed as they were settled at a table on Diagon Alley and sipping at lemonades.

Lily smiled. “It was good. France was beautiful and we spent a day in Paris and it was so fun. But you don’t want to know about that,” Lily guessed.

Marlene shook her head, a smirk spreading across her face. “Nope. I want to hear about James.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Nothing happened.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I mean did Sirius tell me he liked me? Yes. Did James and I share a kiss on Adelia Square? Yes. Does it mean anything? No.”

Marlene almost spit out her drink. “You guys kissed!”

“It doesn’t mean anything. We agreed to forget about it. We’re friends.”

Marlene rolled her eyes. “Friends who have kissed each other! Are you telling me you don’t fancy him?”

Not wanting to lie, Lily sighed. “It’s too complicated, Marls. In case you haven’t noticed but I don’t actually have a lot of people in my life. I can’t lose him.”

“You’re scared.”

Lily crossed her arms. “Damn right I’m scared.”

“Oh, honey …”

“James and I, we wouldn’t work. He’s messed up and I’m messed up and the timing isn’t right.”

“The timing is never right,” Marlene told her. “And if you tried this out with James, you could end up with someone who’ll be there for you no matter what.”

Lily didn’t want that. It just hurt all the more when they left. She was already dreading having to say good bye to Marlene at the end of the summer, a mere five days away, it would break her if her and James were to become something more and then he were to leave. She couldn’t take another blow like that. It was safer to be friends.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” Lily said in a final tone and thankfully, Marlene let it drop.

* * *

He walked into the bar with a mission. No more self-pity parties. No more hiding. He was going to tell her how he felt because he didn’t want to just forget it. She wasn’t perfect, nobody was, but she had him by the heart. He thought of her and it ached like it had never ached before. He thought of her and he knew deep down that this was the woman he wanted to be sitting next to when he was a hundred and ten watching their great-grandchildren play. He just knew. Maybe he’d always known, maybe it had always been sitting at the back of his brain but now it was at the front and he couldn’t ignore it. How could he?

He spotted her behind the bar and waited for her to grab her bag before they went to the back. The back was a tiny alley running along the back of all the shops, featuring trash cans and broken crates.

“I don’t want to be just your friend,” James blurted. “I love you, Lily.”

“James…”

“I want you, Lily, all of you. And I get it, you have abandonment issues and you can’t let anybody in but I wouldn’t leave you.”

Lily shook her head. “You can’t promise that. You don’t know what will happen in a year or five and I can’t lose you. It hurts too much! I keep losing people. I won’t lose you.”

“So you won’t even consider the idea of us being … more?”

“I won’t lose you,” she repeated firmly.

“No, you won’t,” he agreed. “I’ll see you on the train.”

“On the train?” her voice sounded small. “There’s still five days… I thought we could get our school stuff together.”

James shook his head. “Mum and dad are being moved to St Mungo’s. We’re packing up the house.”

The decision seemed fitting. His mother and father both thought it was time and now that James was off to school there was no point paying two healers to care for them at home when they’d be better cared for in a ward.

“Oh,” she said again. “I can come help?”

James shook his head. “This is something I need to do on my own.” She looked terrified and he didn’t miss the water in her eyes.

“You’re going to leave, aren’t you?”

He stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. Her arms came around him firmly and James didn’t think he’d ever been hugged like that before, she was scared to let go. He ran his hand over her hair lightly as to not pull at her curls and pulled back, kissing her forehead, sweeping her hair back so he could see her face. Obviously she missed the part when he promised he’d never leave her.

“I’ll be gone for a few days but then I’ll be back. I told you, I wouldn’t leave you.”

“But,” she shook her head, eyes wide, “But I’m not ready for that.”

James nodded. “I know and I didn’t expect you to be. I just needed you to know. I love you and it doesn’t matter if you love me back or don’t or aren’t ready, I’ll still be here.”

Lily pulled him into a hug again and they stayed like that for what felt like forever but eventually she pulled away and she put on a smile. “Annoy me at work one last time?”

James grinned wickedly. “You bet.”

* * *

“All right,” Marlene said standing up from where she was checking under the couch, “I think all signs of living in this apartment has either been tossed out or packed away. High-five, girl!” Lily complied slapping Marlene’s hand with her own before collapsing onto the couch.

“Only took three hours,” Lily huffed as Marlene sat beside her.

“I can’t believe you’re going to Hogwarts. You’re a baby.”

“I am not! I’m Head Girl!” Lily said defensively.

Marlene laughed. “I think I would’ve been Head Girl if I hadn’t been homeschooled.”

“Let’s see pretty, funny and smart,” Lily pretended to consider. “Of course you would’ve made Head Girl. You know, James owled me last night. He got Head Boy.”

Marlene gasped. “You should shag him on the Prefect’s table.”

“How do you even know there’s a Prefect’s table?”

“I’ve read _Hogwarts: A History_.”

“Merlin, even I haven’t read that.”

“Yeah, yeah. Lily, are you sure you know what you’re doing with James?” Marlene asked. She had her serious voice on. It was different from her playful, charismatic voice, it was all low and quiet. “I mean, he told you he loved you and then basically said he’d wait for you.”

“I,” Lily hesitated not knowing what she wanted to say.

She fancied James. She fancied him a lot and she’d be crushed if he left her. She loved everything about him from the way he just seemed to know what she needed without even asking to the way his glasses seemed to sit slightly crooked on his nose to the way he moved his hands when he told a story. She loved that he had a secret stash of sweets in his bedroom and that he could make her want to laugh instead of being angry or sad.

She loved him.

“Would you really be okay if he went on a date with some trashy Hogwarts girl? And what if they hit it off and he falls out of love with you and rides off into the sunset with trashy Hogwarts girl all because you thought you weren’t ready? Are you really ready for that?” Marlene babbled on and fear crept into her as the realisation crashed on the rocks.

She could lose him in a completely different way if she made him wait.

“Holy mother of shit!” Lily jumped up. “I’ve been incredibly stupid! I mean I love him! What am I waiting for? Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy.”

Marlene grinned. “There we go!”

Lily checked the time half to eleven. “I gotta go!” she grabbed her trunk. “Tell Mr Veg I said thank you for everything and give him back his key! I’ll owl you!”

“You better! Don’t forget about me,” she hugged Lily briefly. “I want all the details.”

Lily was about to turn on the spot, wand in hand but she stopped.

“Marlene, thank you for everything. For the job and for being here for me. I, you’re my best girl friend.”

Marlene smiled. “And don’t you forget it! I expect you back in this apartment after your Hogwarts days are behind you. You can bring James along if you must,” she winked. “Now go and get the boy before trashy Hogwarts girl does.”

Lily smiled nervously, re-gripped her wand, and then turned on the spot landing in an alley near Kings Cross station. She crossed the road quickly, entering the station and locating the wall between Platforms 9 and 10 swiftly. With one last glance around she ran straight into the wall and ended up on a smokey platform where voices drifted about as people bustled around.

She turned her head, standing up on her tippy toes, her eyes searching for a head of black hair messier than a wild dog’s and getting frustrated when she only saw a bunch of people who weren’t James Potter.

She made her way to the train, he’d have to come by the prefect compartment, it was the safest bet of finding him. On her way, a lot of faces she knew greeted her, asked her how her summer was and she answered quickly, before moving on until she was stood by the front of the train and that’s when she saw him, just a little ways down. He was with his mates, of course.

She grinned and dumped her trunk on the platform and walking quickly towards James.

“James,” she shouted happily as she reached them.

“Miss me, Eva-“

She cut him off by planting her mouth firmly on his and he was shocked for a full two seconds before his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him as well, pulling back from the kiss.

“I’d say you did then,” he said softly.

“I was being stupid,” she admitted. “I love you and ready or not, I want you.”

He grinned stupidly, pulling her in for another kiss.

“I don’t know how I feel about our two Head students snogging on the platform,” Sirius commented.

Lily pulled away laughing, James kissed her forehead before letting her go only to slip his hand in hers.

* * *

So here it is. The story of Lily Evans and the story of James Potter and how it came to be the story of James and Lily Potter, the couple who saved the world. The first battle they ever fought but the last they ever fought alone because from that day on, it was them against the world.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked and reviews are my favourite form of affection x


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